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Sorry for the very simplistic formatting. Also, when I was transferring the old entries, some of the old artwork was lost, so you'll have to use your imagination to fill in the gaps.

Day 22

Well, the spying didn't exactly go according to plan.

Chlo and I followed CK and Snoozer to the Talon where they were working on their school project. "Just try to be inconspicuous," Chlo said. "Or as inconspicuous as possible while dressed like Dr. Moriarty's arch nemesis."

Now that I think about it, I probably shoulda gone for a James Bond vibe instead of Sherlock Holmes. Or maybe Jennifer Garner's character on ALIAS. She has like the coolest fashion sense EVER! I love the way she does her makeup and the wigs she wears are sooo cool! Anyway.

We were sitting at the corner table and CK and The Lame One were at the counter, reading books. Probably totally stupid boring books, as boring and stupid as Her Royal Lameness.

They seemed pretty uninteresting, but then suddenly, Miss Lame reached over & TOUCHED CK's hand. Before I could stop myself, I stood up and threw my magnifying glass at her.

Unfortunately, I missed and it just hit the wall. It didn't break though because Prada makes rilly good stuff. Chlo hid behind a column and pretended like she didn't know me. CK was staring at me, all shocked, and asked what I was doing. I panicked and said I saw a big bug on the wall and was trying to kill it. Everyone got grossed out and ran out without paying for their coffee. Lame-a was rilly upset. I had to try hard not to laugh.

I have to go get ready now. CK is coming over in a little while to play "action figures". Maybe GI Joe and my Ken can play in the tub together like in Spartacus. Heehee!

Stupid Lana messed up me and CK playing dolls (he calls it 'playing action figures') by bringing over her stupid pink ponies and her stupid pink self. God she is such a fifth wheel and about as empty, too! I totally hate her ooh so much. Let me start at the beginning.

I woke up this morning and packed up the doll Mattel made special for me, but first I took him out of his custom-tailored Britney Stars n' Stripes outfit, the one with the mini-studs and fringe, and put him in something more "action figure-y". All I had was the business suit that Mattel also made for my doll, though, but I thought maybe CK could help me dress him up in something else if that wasn't "rugged" enough.

At first we were gonna play over at my house, but CK said barns were better for action, so I said OK and went over there. When I got over there, he was all, why doesn't your guy have a gun? I didn't tell him about my Lara Croft thigh holsters and guns because they're too big for my doll so I didn't bring them. I said I have some swords and stuff my dad got me, because he's always wanting me to do boring war stuff, but I didn't bring those either. I showed him the Dream Ferarri I had, though, and I said he could put his big GI Joe into it and drive it around if he wanted.

"His name's not GI Joe," Clark said. "I call him GI Clark."

So I made my doll kiss his doll on the cheek. "Hi, GI Clark! My name is Alexander!" I didn't tell him that I named my doll Alexander Kent, though, and that I call him "Mr. Kent" when I play with him by myself.

"Why're you makin him kiss my doll? I mean my action figure?" he asked.

"Because Alexander went to school in Europe, Clark, and that's how people greet each other. It's what all sophisticated people do!"

"Oh, OK, then," CK said, and made GI Clark kiss Alexander on the cheek too. It made me blush so bad! I hope CK didn't notice.

We went up and played in his "hay loft" and I lied and said the hay was soft even though it was really rough and scratchy and was making prickles on my bottom. I said we could have a sleep-over up there. Wouldn't that be romantic?! He has blankets and stuff so I wouldn't get poked too bad, I don't think.

Then he said the straw kinda sticks to him when he gets sweaty and I thought I would DIE RIGHT THERE thinking about him being all sweaty and covered with bits of straw!! OH MY GOSH! Do you think he meant he was "doing stuff" up there to make himself so sweaty?! Oh my GOD! I'm so embarrassed!!! But kinda curious too. Anyway.

I wanted to play like GI Clark and Alexander were going out to Metropolis but CK wanted to play stupid soldier stuff, so I said, "Well fine I guess Alexander could get kidnapped in a jungle and held for ransom. Then you can come rescue me."

We pretended like Alexender got drowned so that GI Clark would have to give him mouth to mouth, just like CK did when we first met! It was SOOOOO romantic! I said I wanted him to show me how to do it, too, but then he tried to jam his silly doll into my mouth! I told him no, Clark, you should do it yourself so I understand for real. I was so smart! I thought maybe if he showed me how to do mouth to mouth, I could "accidentally" make it like a kiss. If he liked it, then I would know he wanted to kiss me for real at the party instead of just on the cheek.

But JUST THEN stupid Lana Lame came into the barn and she was all "Ooh you were kissing! I'm gonna tell Mrs. Kent on you because I am a big whiny stupid baby and I never ever shut up and I like to ruin every bit of happiness in the whole world!" Or something like that.

To calm her down, we said she could play with us, even though I would rather eat straw than play with Her Royal Lameness. To show how LAME she is, she showed up with this stupid PINK horse with stupid PINK hair. She even tried to put some of the pink horse hair on me, because she wanted to point out how BALD I am. I had to swallow my tears because I was NOT gonna cry in front of her and make her happy. God! I hate her so much!

I started shouting at her that there are no ponies in the jungle, especially not pink ones, and she started crying like a baby. Mrs. K came in with brownies and got all mad at me for being mean to Lana and said we had to let her play. CK didn't even stick up for me! Maybe he didn't want to argue with his mom, but it made me feel SO BAD, like he liked Lana better than me.

So I said fine, she could play, and after Mrs. K left, I grabbed Lana's stupid pony. I took out my super cute pink Swiss Army knife that has a nail file and keychain built in, and I CUT OFF ALL THAT PONY'S HAIR!

Lana started crying again and I said, "Look, now it's a panther. There's plenty of panthers in the jungle."

But she just kept crying and saying I was mean and stuff and then she ran out of the barn. I wanted to laugh but I didn't want CK to think I was mean, too, so I looked all innocent. "I thought she wanted to play," I said. "Oh well!"

By then, it was getting kinda late, and Mr. K came into the barn and said CK had to do his chores. Then he looked at CK and kinda screamed. That was when I saw that CK had some of the pony's pink hair stuck into his own hair. I also had a bunch of it all over me too, from when I was giving My Petty Pony its kicky new summer 'do. Mr. K started shouting about how I was trying to "Mess up" his son and make him do girl stuff. I tried to tell him I wasn't the one who put the pink hair all over everything, that it was Lana's fault, but Mr. K wouldn't let me say anything! He is SO mean to me! He made me leave and wouldn't even let me say goodbye to CK. I'm kinda mad that CK didn't stand up for me, and it really hurt my feelings, but he's so cute and I like him so much. I have to forgive him no matter what, even if my heart is broken.

Day (to be determined later)

Oh God! I have so much to tell you, Diary! Today was the most amazing day! OK I will start from the beginning. My mind is like, totally swimming with the memories! It's hard to remember what was real and what I dreamt of when I fainted.

OK. Here goes.

CK came over today. At first I was all happy but then he started talking about GIRLS and whether they were hot and stuff. Like I really want to talk about GIRLS. What. Ever. He is so oblivious! Why can't he see it KILLS me when he talks about girls! God! But I played along like it didn't bother me, and I said Chloe was much hotter than Yawna, except I called her Lana to CK's face. I was totally thinking Yawna though. Heehee. That made me happy again.

Anyway he said they were both pretty (gag!!!) but he didn't like that girls just wanted to kiss. Kissing is really sweet, though, so I told him how it was super nice with someone you care about. I used to practice-kiss a lot with Dommie but I only liked him as a friend, you know?

So I was SOOOO cool and played it all casual, and said I could show him how to kiss and stuff. I made out like it was no biggie or anything but God, my face was SO red! I thought I was gonna totally die right there, and I was so embarrassed, but then he said OKAY! HE SAID OKAY!! Then we went up to my room and I was so nervous I thought I was gonna pass out. Dad doesn't like me to have boys in my room, but he wasn't here. He's never here. He doesn't even know I exist except when he's mad at me, so I totally don't care what he thinks. At all.

I put on my Enrique Iglesias CD because it makes me think of CK rescuing me and turned it down kinda low. Clark didn't seem to like it very much but I said it was good practice for him to know what kinda music people kiss to. Then we got on my bed (oh God, Lex, don't freak out! be cool! I had to keep telling myself) and I pulled the curtains around us. It was so romantic and cozy!

I told him to kiss me. I acted like it was just so I could get an idea of how he kissed and I guess he was OK with that cuz he like smooshed his lips on mine kinda hard. Oh my GOD! He was all manly and strong, not like Dommie at all. It made me shiver and sigh.

He asked me if that was bad, and I wanted to scream, "NO IT WAS PERFECT!" But then I thought, then he wouldn't want to practice anymore, so I lied even though I kinda felt bad about it. Then I said I'd show him how I like to kiss, just like Dommie showed me, and I was really grown-up about it and did stuff with my lips and his. CK was sorta shocked, though, and I didn't know if he liked it or not. I got kinda upset and said well that's how good kissers do it.

I soooo wanted to tell him Yawna doesn't even know how to kiss like that, but then I was afraid he would want to "show" her how because he's all stupid and helpful. I've seen her kiss Whitney and she kisses him like he's made out of poison, which is so lame, because he's really cute. Not as cute as CK though.

We kissed some more for "practice" but I was getting all weirdly warm and I took off my shirt. I said he could take his off, too, if he wanted, and he took off BOTH his shirts!

OH MY GOD!

He was sitting there in my bed, like, HALF NAKED and stuff! I could not think straight! He has this body like, God, I cannot even describe it. Like it was all grown-up looking, like those underwear models in magazines. It makes me blush just thinking of it! I thought I was gonna die right there or something. Then he would know for sure that I liked him, and I don't know yet if he likes me the same way, or if he's just using me to learn how to kiss stupid Yawna. If he ever kissed her, she would probably suck his own head in on account of her being this big vacuum of suckiness. Anyway so I ran out and got some water, but then he told me to LIE DOWN! ON THE BED! I was like totally numb and yet also weirdly tingly and he went to get this wash cloth and rubbed it on me.

All I could do was stare at him and try not to faint. But I think I did faint because the next thing I remember is Enrique (the manservant not the singer) sitting down next to me and Clark was gone. I think Dad told Enrique to watch over me and make sure I don't get in trouble and stuff, because he was super upset.

Diary, I don't know what to think. Does CK really like me? Is he just using me?! I want him to like me as much as I like him, I really do. I'll be sad forever if he doesn't.

Day 25

Dear Diary,

I'm so sad and confused today, more sad and confused than usual. CK came over this afternoon because he said he'd just found my Alexander doll in his hayloft from where we were playing the other day. Alexander was kind of warm and sticky, but I guess being out in the hot barn for two days made it melt a little or something. CK seemed really embarrassed about it but I said it was OK, that he could play with it some more if he wanted. Then he got mad all red in the face and said "I wasn't playing with it! I was just looking at it!"

I didn't know why he was upset but it made me feel horrible! I hate to see him less than happy, even though when he frowns he looks so cute, especially in the nice red shirt he was wearing that looked like he was outgrowing.

"I'm sorry," I said, not knowing what I was sorry for. I guess just sorry that he was mad.

"It's OK," he said and smiled a little and my heart just leapt with total joy! I love it when he smiles for me! It's soooo special.

But then I kept hoping he would mention the kissing "practice" from yesterday, and he didn't. I waited and waited, and even offered him some apple pie the cook made (he jumped up and ran out of the room waving his arms, shouting, "Yay Pie!"), but he just ate and ate and never said ANYTHING. It was like it never even happened! Diary, did I just dream all those wonderful, warm kisses? Were they all in my mind?

I just had to know!

"So do you want to, you know, some more?" I asked, leaning toward him.

"More pie?" he asked.

ARGH!!!

"Sure," I said, so angry I could burst. "Do you want more PIE?!"

He shook his head, his pretty hair all glimmery and wavy. "No, I better not. Dad says he doesn't like me coming over here 'for that fruit'. I think he doesn't like me to ruin my appetite for dinner. With fruit pie, or something. I don't really know."

After CK left, I called Chlo and said I just HAD to find out once and for all if CK really liked me or not. I told her all about our kissing "practice" and she said he was a good kisser. "What are you talking about?" I asked. "Oh, just when I kissed him at the party, I mean," she said, then I went over to her house and tried on cute blouses.

Chlo says she has a surefire plan to find out what CK thinks of me. Better than spying, or letters, or spin the bottle. Even finding out he doesn't like me would be better than this torture.

Day 26

Oh my God I cannot believe what happened today. It was like something out of one of those special dreams I have. Not like the wedding dream where CK and I are getting married, but the one right after. The honeymoon one. Oh my God. I'm like, soooo trembly all over.

OK. All right. Here is what happened.

CK showed up a little early and I was like in the middle of dancing to my Britney mix cd, because it gives me all this self esteem and all, and I wanted to be super confident when CK came over. I was afraid he saw me dancing but he didn't say anything. I just acted all cool and asked if he was ready for swimming.

He seemed all happy and everything and I started getting excited. "Calm down" I kept telling myself, because I wanted to be totally cool for him. I bet when Britney met Justin, she was rilly mature for her age and it impressed him. Plus she has such awesome clothes and I don't think they make her look as slutty as everyone says! Anyway, I showed CK the bathing suits in the guest room and he said they were all too small. Well, that's cuz only Dommie ever used to come over for swimming and he's kinda slender. Bitch. I swear, he eats chili cheese fries all the time and stays pretty slim and I have to exercise ALL THE TIME. God! One time he said he spends a lot of time on his knees in the bathroom, so I just know he is throwing up. Anyway.

"THey are not too small," I told CK. "They're just the kind that people wear in Europe. They're very stylish."

So then he said all right and OH MY GOD he started taking off his clothes right there in front of me! I had to try so hard not to squeal right there! I kept telling myself, "Britney would never squeal, maybe Christina would, but that's just because of that hideous perm she has, and all!" But he was standing in front of me NAKED and I could not bring myself to look all the way down at "it". I felt so hot and faint. I was thinking maybe it's because he grew up on a farm, and being around nature and stuff he just feels OK being naked. But then that made me think of horses, and of him riding horses, with NO CLOTHES ON! I started to take off my shirt because it was so hot, but then I kinda started to faint.

He asked me if it was heat stroke, but I couldn't answer. He hurried up and put on a suit and then he picked me up in his big manly arms and ran down to the pool with me and jumped in with me!

"Do you want me to call Enrique? Do you feel ok?" he asked. I said God no, don't call him! Enrique would just tell Dad that I fainted and Dad would make me take up even more sports!

But the cold water was kind of a shock and I started to collect myself. Only then did I look down and realize some how he had taken off my shirt! And my cute new pants I got from Donna Karan! There I was, swimming around in my lilac boy-leg undies!

"Oh my GAW, I'm swimming in my pantie--my undies--my underpants!"

He apologized for ripping off my pants and I lied and said I never liked them anyway. "Stupid pants!" we said. THat seemed to make him feel better so we started splashing and playing around.

Chloe told me once that there's a surefire way to know if a boy likes you, but you have to see him naked, or maybe in some loose fitting slacks. And I know I just saw him naked, but I didn't have enough nerve to look at him THERE. I was too shocked when he started taking off his clothes. I was just NOT prepared. But I was feeling better now so I told him about how people in ancient Rome swam naked together all the time. And then I took off my undies! And then he started to take off his! His swim suit I mean. But he seemed to be having some problems so I couldn't see his you know what.

I wanted him to feel cool about it, and he seems to like that "boy stuff", like action figures, so I told him about this thing I learned about on the History Channel about Shieldmates. (It was on after the History of Glitter and there was nothin else on.) So, they were these guys, like, who were friends and stuff, who probably went shopping together and helped each other pick out cute sandals. BUt they also did manly fighting type stuff, which CK seems to like, the way he keeps beating up those meteor freaks.

I was soooo nervous but I wanted to see (or feel! HEEHEE!!!!) if he liked me for sure, so I told him how Shieldmates could touch each other and stuff, even in their 'private places'. I was blushing soooo hard!! I could not believe what I was saying!

He was still having a rilly hard time getting out of his suit, and I was gonna help him, but then my STUPID MEAN DAD came bursting in and totally RUINED everything! ARGH!!!!!!

He was all, "What are you doing here and my hair is so stupid and I look like the cowardly Lion with my giant stupid hair and I'm soooo dorky!"

"Go away, Dad! Leave us alone! Me and my boyf--my friend--are swimming!" I almost called CK my boyfriend! I almost died!

Dad said I had to sign some stupid lame papers and he kept trying to talk to CK, asking us if we were friends and all, and CK said we were "buddies". It was so embarrassing! GOD! What was he gonna do next? Show pictures of me in my diapers!? Or those ones of me sitting on Santa's lap last Christmas?!!! GOD!

Finally I made CK leave and signed the stupid papers. Dad totally ruined everything! I hate him so much!

But I refuse to let him ruin my happy day!! I was so happy being with CK today. I hope I get to spend more time with him rilly soon.

Day 31

Dear Diary

Sorry I have not written in a while. Right now, I'm in the city because Dad says I need more responsibility so he's making me talk to a bunch of stupid guys in suits. They are sooooo boring. I swear. And one of them kept looking at me funny and licking his lips and reaching over like he was going to touch me. It made me feel all funny and not in the good way like when CK looks at me. I think he might have been thinking naughty things about me. I might have his car towed to Uganda later. Because I can!

I snuck out of one of Dad's stupid boring meetings and went shopping. I called Chlo to come with me, but she said she had class and her dad would be mad if she drove three hours to come hang out with me anyway. I think her dad thinks I am a bad influence on her, I overheard him one time at the plant saying something. Although, he might have been talking about Lana, because he kept saying "that damn fairy". Lana is so stupid.

Anyway, so I had to go shopping by myself, and I used one of Dad's credit cards. I bought soooo much stuff! He's gonna be so mad hee hee!!! Serves him right.

I bought some new black silk pants that the shopping assistant said were very flattering. Then I bought some for CK too, even though I might not ever be brave enough to give them to him! Maybe one day when he comes over, I will "accidentally" spill something on his jeans, so that he has to wear the extra pants I just "conveniently" have laying around. HEEHEE!!! I also bought new Power Puff Girls sheets for the master bedroom, and a new CD called "Get Down Diva", plus a bunch of new glitter from Sephora. They have this new one that comes in rainbow colors and smells fruity. That was my favorite one, but every time I smell it, I miss CK for some reason. I miss him so much! Sigh.

Oh, then I stopped at this place called "International Male" but I kinda don't think it was just guy stuff in there. It was like all satin and lace and ruffles and the panties were making me blush so hard! Because I was thinking of CK in this gold thong and it made me sooo embarrassed! I didn't buy that, but I got this little black mesh shirt for him, although I'm not sure it's meant for boys because it's so tiny. This is what I think it would look like:

Oh I also bought a boat and a restaurant, but I don't remember where they are. Oh well. Shopping makes me feel better and I deserve to be happy!

Day 32

I found the boat! Who knew you could lose a 42-foot yacht in the middle of Lake Metropolis? Who knew there was a lake in the middle of Metropolis?

Anyway, I went out there this morning to look it over, and it's pretty nice. There's a nice bedroom down below, with a big bed, then a kitchen, and a little jacuzzi, and a smaller bedroom where I guess Enrique can stay whenever I take the boat out. I wonder if he knows how to sail this thing? He'd better learn pretty fast, because I called CK and invited him over, and...

HE SAID YES!!!!!!!

Ok this is how it went. I want to savor all the little details.

ME: Hey there CK (except I didn't call him by his initials, duh).

CK: Hey Lex! Where are you? I called and went by the castle but no one was there. If you notice some broken glass in the kitchen, it's not because I broke the window to get inside.

ME: You called me? I mean... oh, that's nice.

CK: Well, you just disappeared. If you turned into a meteor freak, I'd have to whale on you.

ME: Oh. That's less nice.

CK: But you're not, right? You're not a freak?

ME: Oh no! No way. I'm totally normal (and very cute in my new Sephora glitter, but I didn't say so).

CK: Whew, that's good. I didn't want to beat you up.

ME: I'm glad. I... wouldn't want you to beat me either. Beat me up, I mean.

(Then there was this awkward silence, and I don't know what that was about. Was it good or bad?!)

ME: Yeah, anyway... I got this new boat. And I want you to come see it, if you want. No big deal if you don't or anything.

CK: (He kinda giggled) Will you show me your dinghy?

ME: Well, sure, I guess. I'll show you my dinghy.

CK: How big is it? I mean, is it big enough... for me?

ME: What, my dinghy?

CK: Yeah, I'm kind of big, you know. I'd need a pretty big dinghy.

ME: (I started feeling kind of funny *down there*, but I didn't say so.) Sure, I guess it's big enough, if you just kind of sit on it. In it. Whatever. Don't move around too much.

CK: I'd like to sit on it very much. In it. Whatever.

ME: Yeah, whatever... (I was feeling kind of dizzy by then, so I figured I had better get off.) So I'll see you tomorrow?

CK: Can't wait! Thanks for having me, Lex.

Then I said goodbye rilly fast and hung up, because I didn't want him to hear me squealing. That would not be cool.

But I can squeal now! And I will!

SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

He's coming over tomorrow! I can't wait!!!!!!!

There's soooo much to do. I wonder how fast Enrique can paint the bedroom in lavender?

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